so im really bummed... my pop pop died earlier thisweek and im not handling it as well as i thought i would have... it wasnt even due to health problems... anyways my car broke yesturday leaving me strandid a couple miles from the house and i hope this guy can fix it tomorrow... idk crossin my fingers! just got back from ihop... hehe visiting a special someone and yes he's adorable!! cant stand brian to much anymore...that dumb bitch doesnt even return my texts/calls anymore... not that i car (anymore) but shit fucking anwer me bitch! nate wants me back and im not sure how well that would turn out sooo "sorry buddy maybe later" tho i still love him more then life itself... i got a job offer under the head banquet chef at the don ce sar resort/hotel thingy in st pete looove it havent started yet but the chefs pretty cute (in a dorky nerdy foodie kinda way) cant wait to work under himif u kno what i mean lol havent really been on here much but my birthdays on monday and im super excited!!  the big 20 baby!! lifes really been sucking for me lately i finally think ive found a lil boyfriend kinda and i get played... lack of communication doesnt really help the situation (cough) but it's ok theres plenty where that came from... im totally a fall in love kinda girl, i find i have to have male attention and i loooove when im given it without really askin for it u kno... like this ihop boy... hehe i sst down with a friend to enjoy a drunken eraly morning meal at the local ihop when all of a sudden this really cute boy struck eye contact with me... i smiled and was about to say "holy shit steph" and he smiled back with great enthusiasm on his face and started making his way toward me... when he arrived he said "omg ashley what r u doing here?" and then looked at steph and said "we totally party together" haha met him once at one party way back when  and tried mackin on him but he wasnt really going for it... lil did i kno he was the one. i quickly said "holy shit sean!!!" finally realizing hoo he was" haha sooo my plan was to acknowledge the beautiful boy server and carry on with my meal but he spotted me and totally went for it... since that night he's been asking me to come and visit him at ihop and stuff just about every night... well i was totally supposed to see him last night but kinda dipped out on him... then i told him i would deff be there tonight but low and behold my fucking piece of shit car died... well then d was gonna come pick me up to bring me the party i have been planning to attend for weeks!! but i cancelled on her and decided to see sean with my roomie crystal... totally a lil bit better of an idea only because if i drank tonight i prob would have to pee tomorro... im overdue for a test... i just gotta remind myself to stay cool and dont get wrapped up in wanting to date this kid bcuz i totally thought me and brian were just gonna fuck and move on... yea well then he wanted to see me more n more and i started getting a lil excited. its just when hes here in town its like qwe're together and dating and stuff... but when hes in tville i never hear from him and he hardly acts the way he does when hes here... really fucking confusing... n then everyone here keeps telling me im being played and to quit talking to him but i guess i kinda dont want to believe it... its like i cant admitt ive lost control in this relationship/friendship u kno? i dont kno what to think really all i kno is i deff need my car fixed and i deff need to finish up this probation shit cuz its getting alil ridiculous... everytime i think im ok with money or that im saving... it all comes crashing down on me... i mean i guess everyones in some kind of debt right now but fuuuuck im a fuck up!!
just gettin tired of waking up every morning... 
FUCK   MY   LIFE...

Ashes

 I am offically going to kill my cat!!!
That lil bitch jumped off the balcony from the second story!
And then it took me a half an hour to get him to let me pick him up...
And all because of a lil slutty bitch cat that lives outside.

Fucking Pussies...

I thought he was dead and or hurt... that lil bitch!